You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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