her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
