just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
