Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need to calm my uterus...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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