I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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