'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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