Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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