you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
