This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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