I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
