Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
