I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
