You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
why is half of my head shaved?
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