Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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