is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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