i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
