Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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