I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
