Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
