Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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