I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
