I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
