i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
