sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
