We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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