He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Actions speak louder than pants.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
