No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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