Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize