i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
high people should be assigned attendants
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
