Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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