Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
