I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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