Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hippo gnu deer
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
