I smell stomach acid.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
