I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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