God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
