ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He better not be in your backpack
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
