You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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