no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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