drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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