he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
