Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
