He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize