i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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