sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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