how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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