dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I look excited, but its just a facade.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
