there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
