we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
