we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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